This first year with you has been wonderful and trying and scary and rewarding. We set out with a purpose to bring another baby into our lives and the day you were born, your father and I both knew that you were ment to be exactly with us. To be part of our family. You've grown from that tiny 5 lbs., 14oz. baby to an 18 lb. 8 oz. armful of love.
This year you've learned how to become mobile (oh boy!) and your vocabulary seems to be increasing every day. Of course it just could seem that way because you're beginning to babble incessantly. You actually play with toys and you light up when your brother walks into the room.
Our first year started off rough. You were my colicky baby. I felt incredibly helpless when you were cry through the night and not stop. You haven't let go of your stranger anxiety that you seemed to have been born with. It took you a long while to even warm up to your Daddy. No one but Mama would do for you. I can't say that I was terribly upset by this beause nothing made me feel more special than being the only one that you wanted to hold you. Even at times when it would of been so convient for you to go with Daddy!
Despite your reserved nature around others, you're really coming out of your shell at home. I didn't think you were ever going to laugh and now that you are it just tickles me to hear it. You enjoy crawling away from us as fast as you can and I know that despite your fear of standing, it will be any day now that you are going to be running from us. I'd like to say I can hardly wait to see you walk, but you are already growing so fast that I think I'd be ok with waiting a little longer before you can start using those legs of yours to run from me!
They say you aren't supposed to compare your children, but I can't help it. I compare you to your brother all the time. There are so many things that are alike about you two and so many things that are different. You are like your Daddy. You're more quiet and reserved and loyal. You don't allow just anyone in your protective circle and those around you who are feel privledged. You have certain smiles for certain people and I can tel that your brother gets the best ones. It touches my heart to see how the two of you have bonded and I know that your Daddy and I made the right choice in deciding to bring you into our lives. We didn't want your brother to ever be alone and now we feel secure that he will have someone wonderful to lean on.
Taking care of you is a joy. It doesn't always feel that way, but it is. Even in my darkest times of frustration and fatigue I know deep in my heart that I was ment to do this. I was ment to be your Mama and to take care of you. Even if I don't understand why. I'm trying to stop questioning the why and just know that it is so. You've changed me as a mother and I didn't expect that. I thought that I knew what I was doing and that it would just be repeating the days of when your brother was a baby. It's not!
I'm listening to you right now babble, "ma ma ma ma ma" and I'm not going to pretend or hide the fact that despite your first word being, "dada", you say mama alll the time. Your sweet little voice is precious and I love it.
I look to the next year that we are going to have together and I know that it is going to be an even bigger transition that the one we've just made our way through. I hope to keep my regrets down to a minimum. I just want to be the best Mama that you deserve. You've brought so much joy into the my life and the life of those who love you so much. We couldn't of possibly realized how much you would complete us. You are the heart of this family and we love you little one.
Even with as wonderful and beautiful this year has been, I know that in the blink of an eye another will have passed. I can safely say that I know it will be an even bigger adventure that we'll get through together.
Mama loves you big guy. Mwah!
© 2005 MaiaRayne. All rights reserved.
2 comments:
Happy Birthday Wee little Man ;)
aww! he's a year old! how cute!
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